woke up at 6am, 3 days ago, got a call from mama that nyai has passed away.
shocked, i didn't know how to react.
and now she's gone.
i remembered that she would always ask me to massage her legs. i was very good she said.
i regretted not massaging the last time i saw her that is during the 1st day of Hari Raya. i should have done that.
was very sick after that. flu and cough.
sleepover at Cik Dah's house for 2 days to accompany her so she'll not be alone.
even though it's still Hari Raya, i don't feel like celebrating it anymore.
i feel like there's no point celebrating it if i am sad all the time.
yesterday i went home cause i was sick. as i was listening to my mp3, the Avril Lavigne song 'When you're gone' came up. i cried instantly. i remembered the good times i had with nyai and then cried myself to sleep.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
nyai, i love you. forever and ever.
love,
dyania <3
dyania <3
thanks you